Introduction – The Happiness Project

Happy New Year!

Over the next year, I will be focusing on the following themes set out by Gretchen Reuben in The Happiness Project Experience:

January – Self knowledge

February – Energy

March – Outer order

April – Friends

May – Work

June – Play

July – Family

August – Money

September – Love

October – Body

November – Awe

December – Onward

The idea is to choose four or five resolutions for each category. The resolutions then roll over to the next month and continue throughout the year.  You can keep resolutions (preferably), but if something is just not working out, you can feel free to drop it or change it without guilt.

To start with I have looked at my resolutions as a whole using the categories to guide me rather than picking some for each category as I go along. Gretchen states that when making resolutions it is helpful to ask the following reflective questions.

1. What will make me happier?

Gretchen says: Do you need to spend more time pursuing a hobby you enjoy? What about volunteering or spending time bringing happiness to others? Will nagging your spouse less improve your happiness? What about devoting more time to personal growth? Reflect on the areas in your life where you exert time or energy.

I answered this question by writing a list (I love lists!). When I reflected on my list I found that the majority were things that also made me feel good such as eating well, exercise, good self care, being around happy people and taking my children out on outings. It also included some neglected hobbies such as crochet, cross stitch and singing. I also love to read – one thing I do keep to daily! I also wrote down a tidy, organised home.

2. What is a concrete action that will bring about change?

Gretchen says: Arbitrary goals leave room for ambiguity, resulting in a lack of follow through. The key to creating an effective resolution is making it specific and measurable.

This is basically saying that the more specific the goal the better. So, for me, instead of saying “Take the kids out more often”, I would write “Take the kids to Harry Potter world in February half-term”. When I plan half-term I can then whittle it down even further to a specific day.

3. Am I a “yes” resolver or a “no” resolver?

Gretchen says: Some people are motivated by “yes” resolutions, such as eat more fresh, unprocessed foods, while others are motivated by “no” resolutions, such as cut out sugar. Consider whether you are motivated by telling yourself what to do or by telling yourself what not to do. This is vital to creating achievable resolutions for yourself.

I feel like I can work with both of these. If it’s simply something I would like to cut out of my life such as biscuits, I would definitely be better off with a straightforward “cut out biscuits” rather than “eat fresh, unprocessed foods”. Then again, for something with more involvement such as a craft project – I would be better off with something more positive such as “make a cross stitch for my friend’s new baby by the end of January”.

4. What language appeals to me?

Gretchen says: Reflect on what types of words resonate with you and then frame your resolutions in the language that appeals to you.

I’m a very organised person who likes routine so words like schedule, plan, deadline and project appeal to me. Resolutions need to be specific and straightforward. Lots of ambiguity would definitely derail me. I can see there will be a lot of specific dates, times etc.

5. Am I starting small enough and am I aiming big enough?

Gretchen says: I am a firm believer in the power of small changes to make us happier. For some though, resolutions are only achievable if approached with the attitude “go big or go home”. Consider which approach works best for you.

My list is a mixture of small tasks and big projects. The small tasks will lead to big things and the big projects can be cut down into smaller chunks.

6. How am I going to hold myself accountable?

Gretchen says: Accountability is the secret for sticking to resolutions for most people. Consider what forms of accountability may work for you.

I prefer to keep my resolutions to myself and see whether others notice the change. I’m quite a driven person when I really want to do something I don’t normally need accountability. The exception to the rule would be if I was cutting out a particular food – such as biscuits, then I would let my work colleagues know as they often bring in snacks for people to share and I wouldn’t want to appear rude. Other than that it will be from people I don’t know such as on The Happiness Project Experience forum or on this blog.

I’m really looking forward to starting my Happiness Project and am excited about the changes I can make over the next year. In turn I hope you will enjoy reading about it and will feel inspired to do a Happiness Project of your own.

To read about my first week’s progress click the link below.

https://lovemyhappinessproject.wordpress.com/2020/01/07/self-knowledge-week-1/